The Enigma Doll
In this entry, we will be highlighting the mysterious, off putting archetype: The Enigma. These women are usually described as “hard to read” and everyone wants to impress them. They have a commanding presence that is gentle at the same time. The celebrity we will be using for The Enigma Doll is Aaliyah.
Aaliyah Dana Haughton
aka Aaliyah, Babygirl
While Aaliyah has sadly passed on, her spirit still enthralls people (including me). And just by a small capsule of interviews, people were amazed by her collected demeanor and her emotional intelligence. She is regarded as one of the most enigmatic celebrities of our time, while also one of the most accepted.
Private
Aaliyah was very much surface level when it came to her answers. She mastered the art of answering questions in a personable way to where you felt like you knew her. This is because Enigmas have an equal love of connection and an equal love of their privacy. Enigmas are focused on preserving what is sacred to them at all costs. They are very superstitious about the energy around them. As a result, you will be hard pressed to get a lot of information out of them. There are still things (that I won’t mention) that people still are dying to know and are speculating about her.
Enigmas are used to gathering endless amounts of information about strangers, but rarely give others anything but a surface level description. They are intuitive enough with human behavior to know how to give people just a little bit to enjoy but not overdo it.
If they are doing anything special (whether that’s business, moving, etc),.. they leave it to very few individuals (or don’t tell at all). They won’t even tell your business.
I’m not sure when it started, but on Tumblr in 2020, we coined a term of having an “air of mystery”. This isn’t necessarily new, but it took off on Tumblr first. Then it went to the bird app and ended up being a meme about not oversharing. It is true, though. The less you share, the more objectively “mysterious” you are. Where people get it wrong though is that mystery still involves being personable, not aloof.
Positive: can spiritually reserve energy whenever necessary
Negative: can come off as dismissive and an unwillingness to connect
What we can learn:
Leave some things to the imagination.
The best way to bond with others isn’t by telling your business, but by being personable.
Privacy doesn’t require complete isolation.
2. Elusive
Now you see them…now you don’t. Enigmas are actually one of those people who don’t mean to ghost you. They awfully overwhelmed by the world around them and can be known as habitual homebodies. They’re also known to take long periods away from social media or the general public. Sade is a well known Enigma who infamously disappears for a prolonged period of time before or after dropping an album. I also think in Aaliyah’s case, her death makes her extremely elusive in a sense that we have no idea what she would’ve been like in her true prime especially with the rise of social media.
I’d say that in modern days, an Enigma is someone who isn’t on a platform like Instagram (locally). Local Instagram is too invasive and full of monitoring spirits. Anything an Enigma does on social media is probably concealed behind an alter ego or anonymity or not even present at all (kind of like me at the moment lol).
An example of the anonymity of the Enigma would be The Weeknd. When he first came on the scene, nobody knew what he looked like. All of his YouTube uploads were vague images with grainy filters over them.
We didn’t know his real name, even. He went through a long period of refusing photos and refusing to do interviews out of social anxiety. As we can see now, he is still somewhat elusive but now he has peaked so much into mainstream that he can no longer be as elusive as he once was.
Aaliyah also didn’t really have the option to be entirely elusive due to her presence in the public eye. Her status grew too large before her passing. However, at her core, her personality was mysterious and she wasn’t overly out there.
Usually when in an elusive, hermit like stage Enigmas are utilizing the time alone to perfect their craft (whatever that may be).
Positive: can easily maneuver in and out of situations
Negative: can be perceived as unwilling to connect or uncaring
What we can learn:
Sometimes elusiveness is a defense mechanism. Always check in with yourself before caving into the need to disappear.
Detaching your identity from your work is often a good thing. Anonymity or even alter egos can help you evade life’s pressures with who you used to be or who others used to perceive you to be.
Don’t be so focused on being elusive that you stop your bag.
3. Yin Yang
Enigmas are very feminine and have a gentle spirit about them. You will rarely see them get overly angry and if they do, they remove themselves from the situation immediately. They know that their anger if unevolved can get like Jekyll and Hyde (The Weeknd would more so be an example of this). Their softness also has a bit of an edginess to it. They are overly in touch with dark and light, yin and yang, shadow and sun.
“Being female, you’re raised to be a good, sweet girl and not flip out. So I had to give myself permission to be mean and evil. It’s tough. But I’ve always been drawn to the darker side of things.”
When people think of Aaliyah, she knew how to balance a dark style with light. Some even say if she lived longer she would’ve tapped into her more feminine looks even more than she had in 2001. Even still, when she wore tomboy clothes her essence was feminine. This is due to an inner balance.
Get the look:
Makeup LOOKS
DARK FEMININE: dark eye look, light or red lip
LIGHT FEMININE: neutral eye look, simple lashes with a neutral lip or glam eye with neutral lip
Aaliyah’s Signatures
Hair with a swoop bang (and ombre)
Sunglasses
Fashion Statements
4. Alluring
One thing about Enigmas is that their charisma will enrapture everyone in their path! People love Enigmas and speak their praises for years. People wonder to themselves how someone can be so multifaceted, and how someone can be so close yet so distant. This is due to some specific mannerisms that Aaliyah mastered.
Smile, Smile, Smile!
Aaliyah was known for her huge smile. She always made a point to make others laugh and laugh at whatever the interviewer said. If you can relate to someone, you will have them in the palm of your hand. She also just laughed in general during her MTV Diary series. She was goofy and always had something fun to engage in. That made people want to be around her.
Voice.
Both Aaliyah’s singing and speaking voice was soft in tone. I know it’s been worn out, but the slower you speak the more people listen. The softer you speak, the more people are intrigued. And the less you share while doing both of these, the more power you will have. If you click on this video above, you will see a handful of comments that talk about her speaking voice. (I want to add that that is nothing wrong with being louder or having a deeper voice because that’s also attractive, but when your voice is lighter when conveying certain things, it is equally as attractive to most people!)
What we can learn:
Make it a point to smile at anyone who speaks to you. People perceive you differently when you have a cheerful disposition even if it’s fake.
Tailor your demeanor to different people. Still maintain who you are, but allow different versions of you to coexist. What may work for an employer may not work for a customer, etc.. as some respond better to a certain voice level or gesture.
In conclusion, having “mystery” isn’t about being standoffish or becoming a social pariah. Being mysterious has to do with an aura and the art of mastering one’s energy. When you are in touch with yourself, your biggest escape is yourself. You are home, not other people.
That is also why people have different perceptions on how to interact with those closest to them and the frequency of doing so.
Many people ask me how to make themselves more attractive to others. A frequently requested topic in the "femininity" community is how to be mysterious. But what truly makes you attractive is embracing and owning your unique qualities. When you understand yourself, it gives you an advantage in understanding social interactions.
If you want more on how to do this, stay tuned!
